There has never been a time in my life where I didn’t know the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Growing up with both mother and father in recovery, it was really how I knew 90% of the people I did. My god parents, my birthdays, christmas parties and photo albums, consisted of people from the program that my parents knew. I got a little older and began to understand the program a bit more. In the back of my head, I always knew if I needed the program it would be there for me. Never did I intend to “need it”.
After a few years and quite a few beverages, my mother, once again suggested she thought I may need to do something about my drinking. I knew she was right. I had known for awhile, but didn’t want to give any of that up, nor for my parents to be right, about something I had denied for such a long time, and even joked about, but that day, was different.
I chose to go to my first AA meeting, for me, with a close friend of mine who was Continue reading “Family”
When I am all about me my life becomes miserable. I don’t always recognize why things are not going well, but it usually boils down to the need to get out of my head. Meetings help me to do this because I am trying to listen and help others. It allows me at least an hour to get away from me. Calling someone also allows me to do what I am supposed to be doing…which is helping others. Thank God I didn’t have to come up with this on my own. I only need to follow the direction of people who went ahead of me and I only need to do that if I want what they have.
The real prize
I attend a meeting where they sell tickets for a raffle as well as hand out tickets for being ‘called up’ to share. I used to buy raffle tickets but conveniently forgot to get a call up ticket. Sometimes I would win a raffle prize. I thought it was great that my number was called. Then I started to take Continue reading “ME… ME… ME.”
When I was a child, I was able to pull a blanket over my head whenever the surly, scary shadows of the nighttime invaded my thoughts and imagination. Now as an adult that technique does not work. As I finish week four in my road to sobriety my mind is clearing, my thoughts are beginning to bounce around my head and replace the numbing fog drugs and alcohol provided me.
I think that numbing fog was very much like Continue reading “Darkness”
Where the Hell am I?
The Looney bin?
Damn, I’m drunk again.
They say what ever doesn’t kill you,
Makes you stronger,
But not this any longer.
I’m a drunk and almost dead,
Hammered expectantly again.
Continue reading “Hammered”
Hi, I’m Steve, grateful recovering alcoholic, I used to call myself the relapse king. Today I’m celebrating 21 months of not drinking between meetings. Long-term sobriety has been a dream of mine for 15yrs of working AA my way. A pretty awesome life is mine today because of a loving higher power who I call God, working the 12 steps the AA way instead of mine, and a strong sponsor. The old timer told me years ago, “keep coming back”. Many years of pain and misery could have been stopped if I wouldn’t have drank between meetings. The sobriety I have today is from Continue reading “Relapse King”