Step 1

January, the first step month always reminds me of my start on this journey.  All I know is that I didn’t want to be here.  I couldn’t see the rest of my life without alcohol.  After all, it was a daily cure for every life situation.  Good or bad.

When it was explained to me that I was going to die if I continues drinking, I knew I didn’t have a solution.  I was out of options, having tried most of the cures that the big book talks about.

Treatment and my first AA meetings told me that I had to surrender and admit I was an alcoholic.  This was a hard pill to swallow.  My ego and pride told me Continue reading “Step 1”

Dear John Letter

How I yearned to get my hands around your smooth texture, to feel your curves as I slowly caressed your neck down to your solid center.  I learned a lot from you.  They say older women make better lovers, but I never knew 95 years old would be so good and yet so bad…….so, very very bad!  I remember how much I looked forward to us meeting after a long day at work.  I would think about how you would release me from all of my troubles, from all of my, so called failures of the day.

I knew my day would end with you warming me inside, and carrying me off to a land of no worries.  As I felt you going down, the warmth was like a blanket inside of me.  How did I know that you were ripping the lining out of my stomach?  Now I feel your affect, its slowly taking over me.  Taking me to a point of no return.  I know that once you have your claws into me, there is no turning back.  Now I have to ride Continue reading “Dear John Letter”


In the 5 years that I have been sober I have had a few different sponsors, and each was radically different from the other. I can honestly say that I loved all 3 of my sponsors, and they provided exactly what I needed at the time.
My first sponsor was just over a year sober when she was assigned to me, and neither of us knew what we were doing. She was the perfect sponsor for me at the time because she showed me how to have fun, without doing anything illegal! Continue reading “Sponsors”