hideous Four Horsemen: Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand.
~ Big Book, pg. 151
On the other hand, there is also the counterbalance: The 4 Horsemen of Recovery: Love, Peace, Serenity, and Hope. There is a yin/yang in the universe. Good VS evil. Positive VS negative. If I have learned anything in this 12 step recovery program, is that there is always balance. Thank goodness for that. If we did not have balance, we would all be insane. So, when it comes to working with others, the first key guideline is to maintain your balance! Slow down, take a breath, relax, and recognize you are not responsible for saving others or AA as a whole. There is a G.O.D., and it isn’t you! You do not have to have all of the answers all of the time. That is why we have intergroups, group consensus, G.S.O., literature, old timers, and speakers to guide us.
What all alcoholics need in a sponsor is a loving witness and a listening ear; someone to show them how to apply the 12 steps of AA to their lives: a mentor in recovery. That is the sum total of all that is needed. Whether of not he/she has a job or no job, $ or no $, married or single, health or illness, aged or young or housed or homeless are outside issues. The solutions for these (and any life problem) come from their commitment to living the 12 step recovery program. Your wallet, wisdom, or wit cannot save them. And, they should not. I suggest staying out of their way, give them plenty of room to learn from their own mistakes, and let G.O.D. intervene. When someone comes to you with a life problem, I suggest that you give them the option: get off the hideous horse or climb onto a recovery horse and hang on! Seek balance.