Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all these traditions, ever reminding us us to place principles before personalities. ~ AA 12 X 12
“The day inevitably came when that person failed us is some way, and our own recovery was threatened”. ~ Anon. I ran over this phrase I had heard years ago. It still strikes true for me. We are just human beings, trying to live in a human world, imperfect, flawed, and frail. The key word in Tradition #12 is Spirituality. We are striving for progress, not perfection. In the process of that striving, we may mistakenly believe that our sponsors will be there forever. That they alone are the magical thing that keeps us sober, or that they alone understand us. After a few big losses in AA, I have learned that a reliance and relationship with HP is the only thing I can be assured of over the long haul. I believe that sponsors are put in our paths to guide us to a certain level of recovery, then it is time for something new.
Letting go does not have to be traumatic or chaotic. My first experience in letting go was not pretty, but ever since then, I have decided that when there is a parting of the ways, both people grow as a result. Both people move on to better and greater things. We humans are a silly lot: we think the world revolves around us. When in fact, it may revolve, but we are not part of the revolution. It is like the ants on a log, that think they are steering the log down the river. Tradition #12 asks us to be trusted servants or service providers. It asks us to carry the message of recovery, not be the end all/ be all answer. No one can be asked to carry that burden. If I have learned anything: It is that my job as a sponsor is to engender a desire in the sponsee to have a constant and conscious contact with a God of his/her understanding. Then, get out of the way.