Principles Before Personalities

Ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

~ AA Step#12. 

We place principles before personalities. Good gosh, how that concept saved me many a time. In Step #12 we are reminded that no one is in charge, no other alcoholic is the leader or lord and master over any of us at any time, and that we are all just trusted servants. It is so true what they say: the things we hate in others, are the exacts same things we struggle with in our own personalities.  I find it helpful to do my daily 10th step inventory as it happens in addition to the daily one done in the morning. If I happen to run into a troubling person in a meeting or while doing service work, I sit down later and try to figure out where I was wrong. Recently, I just finished updating the bylaws for another 12 step group. It took me a lot of time over 10 months to get it right and to gather the information needed from various people. Whew. I was glad to see it done.

As I submitted it for publication, the gatekeeper of the website bulked at the formatting. She had other ideas on how it ought to be written. I was not so happy with that response, so she went around me, and tried to get another board member to veto my submission. Long story short: I got mad, I did my 10th step, I spoke with my sponsor, and then (surpise! suprise!) I prayed. The notion that perhaps the chairperson is responsible for dealing with such things finally dawned on me. I know, I am pretty stubborn. I had to look at my ego issues, perfectionism, controlling, and stubbornness. What is good for the group and what is the group consensus will carry the day. As I let go of that service job, I can let go knowing I did my best, whether or not they redo those bylaws is their business, and I have a G.O.D. that can handle whatever comes as a result. Let go, bide your time and do not let personalities (especially your own) interfere with sobriety.

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