Absolute Willingness

Denial of the truth leads to destruction. ~ Anon

Step #1 is a two part action step: We must admit complete powerlessness, and we must become absolutely willing to do what it takes to get and stay sober. There are no half measures. According to the Big Book, “half measures availed us nothing.” There are no halve measures, but there is misery. So, a really good assignment for those you work with is to ask them to list what they are willing to do to recover. Fox Hall groups require some things of their sponsees. I have not had much luck in demanding anything of anyone. In fact, I find that folks who are forced into AA by the courts or treatment centers hold a grudge against AA as a whole and most either relapse or find another venue for getting sober: like another addiction, etc. Perhaps that is a generalization. But in my experience, people are more likely to get and stay sober over the long haul when they have a vested interest in doing so. No one can force this process. It takes what it takes what it takes. Each person has their own value system and what will work for them.

As a sponsor, I feel it is my obligation to be a loving witness and a good listening ear; and nothing more. It find it more effective to have the person have their personal ownership in their own recovery. I cannot do it for them, nor can I compel them to take any necessary steps in doing so. Life is so much easier when I get out of the driver’s seat, keep my focus on my own recovery, and let go. That way, HP can get in there and the real healing can happen. So long as I am acting like a god and running the show, there will be resistance, resentment, and surely relapse time and time again. I need to ask myself if I have a loving and merciful HP in my life, and if so, I need to act as if that is so. AA is after all a spiritual solution for a mental and physical dis-ease. Take what you like, and remember the rest.

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