Wise Man Say

The more wisdom you attain, and the more conscious you become, the crazier you will appear to others. ~ Buddha

There is wisdom in knowing, but still being open to learning. We must remain teachable. When we are suffering the pains in our own lives, the best cure is to pick up the phone or go visit a friend in program, and ask him/her how life is treating them. When we reach beyond ourselves and empathize with others, we forget for  a moment our own issues. Actually, talking with another alcoholic gives us introspection and insight into how our own problems can be solved. You will be amazed how this works.

The most qualified person to help an alcoholic is another alcoholic. We are uniquely qualified to understand how small, innocuous issues can seem like huge mountains to sort through. We are uniquely qualified to understand the obsession of the mind that craves the very things that cause us the greatest level of pain. We are also uniquely qualified to be the voice of recovery that the person in pain needs to hear; and possibly will be the only voice that they can hear in all their confusion.  Call someone else today and just ask how life is treating them. Listen. They may just have that message you need to hear. That is how it works.

The Message

Those of us who live this program do not simply live this message,

we are the message. ~ Anon 

This is a program of attraction, not promotion. We cannot go into every bar in town and drag people out of there and into AA meetings. That doesn’t work so well. That is what boxers call, “leading with your chin”. I do take up the argument, that we are not the message, but rather G.O.D. is the message, we are merely the messengers. The question is: what message do we want to convey? I have to remember what attracted me in the first place: unconditional love, compassion, humor, understanding and an open door policy.

Most folks in AA will tell you that you may be the only Big Book that someone will ever see in their lives. If that is so, then it would make sense that we crack the book open every day, and learn what it says. I admit to being a Big Book thumper, but I cannot quote chapter and verse, and I never could. There are some handy dandy Big Book reference cards that one can use. That way, when a certain issue and emotion troubles us or our sponsees, we can refer them to a chapter that addresses such a thing.  The nice thing about AA is that there have been millions who have already recovered, so all we have to do is learn from their experiences. There is no need to recreate the wheel. Just jump in and enjoy the ride. As one old timer used to say, “Just shut up and get in the bus!”

Recovery is For Everyone

Can we help others in relapse? Love and prayer VS confrontation. Can I help you with food/steps to recovery? Can everybody recover? You don’t have to die this way. Attraction is not passive. ~ Anon

Recovery is for everyone, but not everyone is for recovery. I had to learn that the hard way. When I first got sober, it was like a new lease on life. I felt great. I had an appetite again! I loved all the new energy I discovered. My mind for the first time in years was clear and clean. I could actually wake up refreshed and ready for work each day. I knew where I was, who I was with, what I had done/said, and what I had consumed the night before. What a huge relief that there was no more walk of shame or guilt over anything. There were no surprises in the mail box or at my bank.

I started doing the AA 2 Step….you know: I got a problem, and I am going to fix yours! I wanted those around me (that I loved dearly) to find this program too! I wanted them to experience the joy, relief, and spiritual drive that I was going through. Wouldn’t everyone feel the same? Guess what: It fell flat. People started to shun me and find other people to go to bars and enjoy parties with. I was dazed and confused at first, then I got judgmental and angry.  At long last, I got real and learned that this AA program is for everybody that wants it, but not everybody will or does want it. This is a We program, but it is for self. Take what you like, and remember the rest. Eventually, it may be of help. If they like what they see in you and really want change, they will ask. Focus on those who did ask for help. Attraction is an action verb.


We are in a time when we are all challenged to either speak up for those who are oppressed, or to shut up and let others be who they are going to be. The 12th step program teaches me to be patient and merciful especially when others are struggling with this disease. I still, after all these years, struggle with letting go and allowing people to find their own path VS standing up for what is right and just. If I had all the answers, perhaps I would write a book.

I do believe when others are being abused or harmed, then it is my responsibility to say no, speak up in their defense, and in some way lessen the damages to others. To stand by and no do anything is being complicit in the harm. The promises say that we will be able to deal with difficult situations more easily. I find that if I hand it over, wait 24 hours and talk to my sponsor, somehow, the right words and actions are revealed to me. The answers come more easily. That gives me hope. How do you deal with the pain of others?